this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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