She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
