Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
