woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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