Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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