so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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