At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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