Four minutes until I can fart!
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
