New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
