I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
