Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
