I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
