That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
it's like heaven, but drunker
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
