do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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