Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
