i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
last night I used snow as a chaser
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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