I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
did i just pee glitter
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
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