i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
