if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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