Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
And then the night went full on bisexual.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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