Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
