Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
