just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
