She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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