Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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