Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
3pm strippers are depressing
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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