I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
mondays should just be called national damage control day
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
