we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
