whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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