How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Randomize
