good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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