Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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