This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
