The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
