I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
