Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
