Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
