Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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