he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
