I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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