Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
