look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
