Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
