wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
They have beer where we have blood.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
