ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
