i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
