Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
