check it out our google latitudes are spooning
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
