i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
