"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
