Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
