The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
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